The problem with being the family photographer, aside from never getting your picture taken, is that you are always so busy "capturing the moment" that you rarely get to experience the moment. The pressure is something awful. What if, at the end of the day, you didn't capture the perfect photograph that brings the entire day together in one comprehensive image. You've lost it for all eternity. Then what will you look at in your waning years? It's almost tragic.
But what if, at the photo op, you get out the camera and horror of horrors, the battery is dead, or worse yet, you forgot your camera entirely.
I've experienced both these scenarios in the past two weeks. Honestly, at the time I didn't know if I'd make it. The panic attack that threatened almost overwhelmed me. Then the strangest thing happened. I started to enjoy myself. I stood less than five feet away from my family and interacted with them. Like the proverbial bike I realized that I hadn't forgotten how to have fun. I won't say I don't have regrets because the little shutterbug sitting on my shoulder won't let it go. I'm just saying sometimes it's ok to let it go. To build real memories instead of poorly framed, overexposed, out of focus memories.