Friday, November 30, 2007

Retail Hell

The number one thing on my "Things I dread" list?


Except Target, I love a nice stroll around the local Target. No, I'm talking Mall shopping. Leave it to me to have a daughter that lives to shop. For her birthday we've taken to giving her a gift card to our friendly neighborhood mall and she just couldn't be happier. Everyone is happy, till it comes time to take her to said mall.

This week I had to suck it up, hold my breath and dive on in seeing as she has NOTHING to wear and no one else to take her shopping. The store of choice for this visit was Hollister. And I allow it because, one, it's her money (technically) and two, they don't advertise with p0rn0gr@phy. (cough, Abercrombie & Fitch, cough) Still, I have some advice for Hollister management. Really, what retailer isn't just dying to get advice from a fashion challenged forty something stay at home mom.

First of all, turn down the music!!!* Trust me on this; it will surely save a lawsuit down the line when your youthful sales staff grow up and realize they have premature hearing loss. And if you don't turn it down, I shall be forced to get out the comfy chairs you so kindly provide (thank you from all parents-of-teens-that-don't-yet-drive) and dance with the four year old. I don't think anyone wants to see that.

On second thought, probably no one would see me dancing. Which brings me to my second piece of advice which is: turn on some lights already.

My final piece of advice, and the only one directly impacting the merchandise is: how about you take some of the extra fabric from those saggy boy jeans and add it on to the nothing left to the imagination girl jeans. Give a mother a break. Please.

Oh yeah, like that's gonna fly. Oh well, at least I got it off my chest.

*and while you're at it, get off the lawn!

Right on Top of Things (a [bad] poem)

As usual.

This morning in the shower I thought up the greatest, greatest come back.

For a situation that happened about two years ago.

No, I'm not going to tell you what it was,

you had to be there.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Me and my crazy ideas

I have a crazy idea. Really nutty. With the added bonus that it would probably never work. So to get it out of my system and avoid embarrassment I confess it here where it won't hurt anyone.

On a couple of occasions our church has bought out an auditorium to watch a movie. We did it with The Passion of the Christ and again with Narnia. It was cool and everything. I was thinking though. What if we went as a church to see The Golden Compass. I've been listening to the controversy and reading my email warnings and such and I just thought; the world is going to expect us, (right winger, religious, conservative Christian, evangelistic, soccer mom, add your own label here ________ ) to react to this movie a certain way. What if we made like George Constanza and did the complete opposite? Instead of boycotting the movie, all of us could run out to see the movie and engage the world in some dialog about what this story is trying to say. I've read the trilogy and really there are some valid points for discussion. Yes, the author is an atheist and yes, he is a little preachy in this aspect of his books. But there are some legitimate grievances in there regarding organized religion. Could we all sit down and talk civilly. Or would it just go all Jerry Springer?

Like I said, Crazy.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Oh Mom!

Yesterday I established that I am the type of parent that lets the TV babysit my child. Another day, another revelation. Now is the part where I tell you that I let my two boys drive to the same school every morning. Separately. Trust me, I have my reasons. I'm sure they're really good reasons too.

This morning the older boy called me from his car (big no-no) to ask if I was watching the news and did I know why there were police at every intersection on the road he takes to school. No, I didn't know but I immediately disconnected in a panic so I could call son number two (Also a big no-no). Why? One, to make sure he was still alive, and two, to make sure that the police activity did not involve him in any way. I could hear his eyes rolling over the phone. Big sigh! he was still alive and not under arrest. Turns out it was some kind of manhunt. I'm a little fuzzy on the details but I'll catch up on the news tonight.

Sometimes, as a parent, I give in to my impulses to OVER react to situations. I know I am doing it, and I am powerless to stop myself. I know chances are that it will turn out to be nothing. I can predict my children's reaction to my behavior, and yet, I can not stop myself. It is then that my cup overflows with understanding and I thank God that my parents are still alive so that I can call them up and say, I get it. I finally get it.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Easily Entertained

Sometimes I notice things. Insignificant things that wouldn't matter to anyone else, but none the less bring a little joy into my day.

I'm sitting here retouching photos of my son the senior, trying to come up with a decent and not cheap looking senior photo. It's tedious work. I've got the television on Noggin in an effort to keep the Four year old entertained while I work. Well, it keeps me entertained too. Anyway, a song came on. It's one of those little bumpers they play in between shows since there are no commercials. It was a fun little song which is why I looked up from my work in the first place. What I noticed was, the lead singer for the band playing this song was none other than, Steve. The Steve formerly of Blues Clues. Completely bald. Wearing squirrel ears. And me smiling from ear to ear. Good to see he's still working.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Zoo News

First of all, can anyone tell me how it got to be Thursday already?

And now for something completely different.

The four year old and I visited the Kansas City Zoo on Monday. Our zoo gets a bad rap. It doesn't help that the almighty Omaha zoo is just down the interstate for contrast and comparison. Unfair! I say. True, you have to walk for what seems like miles and often the animals are out of sight. I just think that for the animals, our zoo is great. Dare I say it, I think it's better than the Omaha zoo. They have lots and lots of room to roam in most sections and I don't mind a little extra footwork for that. Having said that, though, I think our new zoo director is working to amend some of the flaws in the zoo's design to make it more human friendly. Already there is a shortcut that knocks at least fifteen minutes off the hike to the Africa section. I'm pulling for our zoo and I think the competition with the Omaha zoo will only make it better. In the mean time, go visit the zoo on a nice cool fall day and hopefully you will see lots and lots of animal activity like we did last Monday. Here are a few of the photos we were able to get and really, the photos took themselves.






Awwww, "Come and see me", he says.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

One insecurity down......

Is there anyone out there who can introduce me to an artist that isn't completely, inherently, deeply, fundamentally, insecure about their work. We are all able to "sell it" I know. But does anyone really, Really, believe in what they are doing? Sorry, my cynicism is showing.

I'm working on a job right now that I have absolutely no confidence in. In fact I turned it down at first because it really isn't my style or strength but in time I was talked into taking it. I think the person offering it to me is a little desperate. Plus, the money before Christmas ain't bad. I am preparing myself constantly to lose this job, though, and it's a very distinct possibility for several reasons. Reasons which don't even have that much to do with competence but in the end that's where I end up, feeling completely incompetent. I was really letting it get to me. But then Nebraska lost the football game to Kansas on Saturday and I was watching Coach Callahan try to explain his team and suddenly my little anxieties didn't stack up. I transferred my anxieties in empathy for the coach and his team. Oddly enough, it really helped. It gave me enough distance so I could put it in a new perspective. Oh I'm still nervous and all, but it gave an opportunity to allow me to let God have my anxiety. I have to constantly remind myself to give it up but it reminds me that no matter where I end up with this job, with it or without it, competent or not, that is where God wants me to be. I'm trying to see the bigger picture.

Matthew 11:28-30

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Does Not Compute.

As a Nebraska ex-Pat who attended KU there was really no way I could lose on this one. Or was it no way I could win? Whatever. This one takes a little getting used to.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

The Day After

The Four year old's Jack-o-Lantern.

Brains a little fried.
Eyes a little sunken.
Lights out on the inside.
I'd say that pretty well describes me, except I'm chubbier.