Against the wind

Mt. Gould, Swiftcurrent Lake, Glacier National Park, MT
Originally uploaded by Randy Williams

I woke up today at 4:30 because of the wind.

Many years ago I had a out of body experience on top of a mountain that has left me with an unnatural anger at windy days. Riding my bike through the campus at KU with a portfolio acting as a wind barrier only reinforced my position.

My experience was on top of Mt. Gould in Glacier National Park the year I worked at Many Glacier Hotel for the summer. I was talked into climbing a mountain* that I really didn't want to climb. It didn't help my attitude that we (the employees) were all in danger of being evacuated due to fires in the area. The guy that talked me in to it was a real mountain goat and I was grumpy and tired at the time but agreed to go. We were literally blown up the mountain. On top of the mountain I can't say exactly what happened but I was suddenly very disoriented; east became west and I was completely out of my mind. My words cannot do it justice. It didn't help that I looked up from my altered state and there, not more than ten feet away, stood a real mountain goat. Not the aforementioned friend, a real one. In my state of mind that goat could have asked me to pass the butter or something and it would have seemed perfectly normal. Anyway, it was weird.

Here's where the wind figures into the story. At the top of that mountain the wind was picking up some pretty good sized boulders and flinging them off the side to the depths below and so I was thinking, how long before that wind is strong enough to start flinging people off the mountain. I developed a healthy respect for nature at that point. We high tailed it off the mountain and let me tell you something you may not know. Going down a mountain is more difficult than going up even in the best of circumstances. With the wind hindering our progress it was all the more difficult. When we made it down the mountain we were informed that the rangers had shut down the mountain shortly after we started up because of dangerous winds. Did you know you could shut down a mountain?

Though my words are so hopelessly inadequate to describe how difficult it was for me to "conquer"that mountain, you'll just have to take my word for it that it was. In fact when the time came for me to have my first baby I used the mental picture I had of that experience to help get me through labor. If I could climb that mountain on that day I could do anything. Four kids later with no epidurals, I'm telling you giving birth was easier than climbing that mountain.

So, to this day I am still angry at the wind. It's pointless, I know. It's the most pointless anger in the world. And yet there I am at 4:30 in the morning unable to sleep, cursing at the wind.

*In the spirit of full disclosure and because the photo (Thank you Randy Williams whoever you are) of the mountain makes it look so intimidating I need to let you know that we climbed the back or west side of the mountain. The front side would be one heck of a technical climb that I don't think they even allow in Glacier because the rock is so weathered and brittle.

Off the deep end.

If this week is any indication of how life will be when my kids leave home I'm going to have to duct tape them to the walls and never let them out of my sight.

This theory doesn't really hold water, though, because, strictly speaking, we still have one at home. And, he is the cause of the most recent drama. Yesterday the four year old took a dive in the deep end of the pool. Literally. Do you ever have that dream where you are trying to run and scream but your feet won't move and you can't make a sound? That's how it played out in real life.

Here's how it happened. After a brief rest at the side of the pool we decided to get back in. The four year got out ahead of me far enough that he couldn't hear my cautioning yell not to run. Since he's so small apparently he escaped the notice of the lifeguards. Well, instead of stopping at the ladder to the shallow end, where he had been jumping in, he continued on to the ladder at the deep end. And jumped. Lots of things happened then, not all of which I was aware of. I had cut across the pool because at some point I could sense what was going to happen but it's hard to walk very fast through water, you know. When I saw what I thought was going to happen, actually happen, I proceeded to run and then to dive, thinking that to swim to him was the faster course of action. At some point between my frantic run/dive the lifeguards must have taken notice and blown the airhorn signaling trouble. Well, I beat the lifeguards to him but when I got there he wasn't floating under the water as I had feared but had made it to the ladder and was climbing out all by himself, panicked but completely conscious. Shortly after I came up out of the water I was surrounded by lifeguards and the pool was empty. What a weird, surreal feeling.

Egads! I don't want to relive that one. I was super proud of him for having made it to the ladder and basically saving himself but, Oh man, the space between going under and getting out felt like a lifetime. I'll bet it shaved a few years off my life, and as an older parent I can't really afford that.

Now I have a few (probably unnecessary) comments to add. The whole time leading up to and during this incident I had my eyes glued to the four year old. Glued I tell you. And yet I was constantly observing behaviour by the kids playing near him that demonstrated clearly that their parent or caregiver was otherwise occupied. Playing the what if game, as I am wont to do, what if I had been otherwise engaged at that crucial moment. Ugh, I can't bear the thought. Just makes me think.

Say a prayer

for the Kelsey Smith family. Kelsey was seen on video tape being abducted from our local Target store. I visit this store between 5 and 5,000 times a week and to drive in today and see the command post set up in the back parking lot was very sobering. Please lift up this family and everyone out there involved in this search. And, in case you missed it above here is a link to the story. http://www.kansascity.com/132/story/136747.html

Why do these things happen??

Here we go.

The summer roller coaster ride has begun.

Wheeeeeeee!

It's been a flurry of activity around here and then.............peace. Half my family is gone. The two older boys are counselors at our church's summer camp and my daughter is on the middle school mission trip. I miss them like crazy, so much so that I spent the day in bed with a migraine. Well, half the day. The first half I spent wondering what was wrong with me. (When will I learn.)

Now I have to spend tomorrow making up for the fact that I let the four year old play Nintendo for about two hours. Migraines make horrible parenting decisions.