Drawing on the wall

SpongeBob Mood Badge

2010-05-21T13:34:00.000-05:00

SpongeBob Mood Badge: "Put the SpongeBob Mood badge on your page."

It's Just For Men

2009-01-21T10:12:00.004-06:00

Yesterday, arguably one of the most historic days my lifetime I was disappointed to see my five-year-old bring this picture home.

At first glance I assumed it was a picture of Barack Obama. Our first president of color and he couldn't get the skin tone correct. How have I failed him as a parent?

Then farther down in the stack I found this.

Oooooh. So who was that first guy? Then it dawned on me. Joe Biden. With a bad dye job.

It seems so obvious...now.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand...

2009-01-13T20:21:00.002-06:00

We're back.

While I was driving home this evening a song came on the radio that kind of irritated me. I think the song is called "My Jesus". I don't know for sure. It is kind of a preachy song which is why it was so irksome but it poses a question I find very thought provoking. The question that this preachy song poses is; what does your Jesus look like? So I wondered, what does Jesus look like to me? Immediately I knew. My Jesus can really nail the high notes. He looks exactly like Ted Neely, the actor/singer from the movie version of Jesus Christ Superstar. I can't help it. It is seared into my brain cells. When I was nine years old my Dad took me to see the movie and I was kind of blown away by it. It was the closest I would ever see my dad get to anything even remotely religious in my childhood and I grabbed that memory and am still holding on.

So I wonder if my kids will think of Jim Caviezel.

What does your Jesus look like?

Almost Skipping Christmas

2008-12-17T08:38:00.003-06:00

One of these years I will get up the nerve to really skip Christmas. Maybe use the time to do some good deeds or something. But we all have to start somewhere right? So, this year I have come to this executive decision. No Christmas decorating. Actually, to say that I came to it might be stretching the truth a little bit. More like it was forced on me. Here is the scenario. After roughly two weeks of dodging and shifting Christmas boxes to make way for more urgent callings I have come to my senses and realized: one, these things are never going to make it out of the box, and two, Christmas is only a week away. Less than that if I count our Christmas with my husbands family. So back up to the attic they go. It's like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It makes the after-Christmas clean so much easier to face as well. Now, before you go all bonkers on me, yes, we did get the tree up and decorated. So that's nice.

Now what do I do with all this time I just freed up? I know, Top Ten Christmas song list. Off the top of my head these are my top ten favorite Christmas songs with accompanying comments and if you are lucky, a link. I'm pretty sure they should be on your list too. And, in case you were wondering it does matter who the artist is. Very important.

Here they are in no particular order.

1. Ave Maria, Pavarotti - Maybe not technically a "Christmas" song but it's close enough for jazz. I like the Shubert version and it is heavenly when he sings it with the Vienna boys choir.

2. Little Drummer Boy, David Bowie and Bing Crosby - Oh brother. I remember seeing this as a kid and thinking, "Huh??" It was just cheesy enough to become a classic. Now David Bowie is the old one. Maybe he should do a remake with ummmm, Lil Wayne?

3. Still Still Still, Mannheim Steamroller - Of all the Mannheim Steamroller Christmas songs of all time this one, from A Fresh Aire Christmas, is my very favorite. The best way to listen to it is in a rocking chair (holding a small child or baby is optional) in a room lit only by candles or Christmas tree lights and a light snow falling outside. A fire in the fireplace is nice too but technically you shouldn't have a live tree in the same room as the fire. Then voila, for three minutes and forty three seconds you will be transported.

4. Wizards in Winter, Trans-Siberian Orchestra - Seriously, you should wake up to this every morning between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

5. The Christmas Song, Nat King Cole - It's not Christmas till I hear this song.

6. Santa Baby, Eartha Kitt - this song has been covered by EVERYone, and their dog too. Eartha Kitt is the only one really worth listening to. Also, be careful who you listen to this song with. It has magical superpowers on a certain gender.

7. Christmas Time is Here, Vince Guaraldi Trio - Again, not Christmas till I hear, or see, this song.

8. More, Bobby Darrin - Ok, this one for sure, is not a Christmas Song, but Kohl's used it several years ago in their Christmas ad campaign and I haven't been able to shake it. Love it baby. Grab a hairbrush and sing along. You'll be glad you did.

9. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, Barenaked Ladies with Sarah McLachlan - Barenaked for the Holidays is a fantastic album. I recommend the whole thing but this song in particular will dazzle you.

10 Last but not least is a little ditty called The Abominable O Holy Night. I don't know who sings this but there is a story behind it somewhere, a very strange and weird story. This is a song that has to be heard to be believed and I'm just twisted enough to give you the link. Scroll down and press play. Enjoy

So, probably I've missed a few. If you think I've made some glaring errors make me a Christmas mix and send it my way.

And if I don't see you before 2009, Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy Happy New Year!

2008-11-26T11:16:00.002-06:00

This is what I plan on doing the day after Thanksgiving. I'm going to interview my mom. I'm pretty jazzed about what Storycorps is doing here because I believe in the power of listening. Listening could save the world but it is an endangered species. Check it out and find a loved one to interview.

Shout out to my favorite listener!

My Favorite New Buzzword

2008-11-23T16:06:00.001-06:00

Self Awareness.

The story of my life. And all this time I though it was low self esteem.

Brisk

2008-11-15T09:29:00.002-06:00

I'm blogging again from the mobile device. I'm lucky if I can get near a computer these days, what with all the so called "homework" going on around here. It's possible we are spending entirely too much time in front of the Glowing Screen. Please forgive the typos. Blame my fat thumbs.

I can hear the cold outside. It's the kind of day here that makes me want to turn over in bed and bury myself for another couple of hours. Or better yet, stay all day and read a book. No such luck with a five year old. Or a dog, for that matter. And if I sit downstairs and try to remain quiet for any length of time (let's pretend I'm doing my bible study or something) I hear the beat of bongo drums on the roof of the house. Squirrels. I don't know what they're doing up there or what the fuss is all about, the walnuts and tomatoes are long gone. Maybe they are fortifying their nests against a frozen wasteland of a winter.The only time they make more noise is when they're all trying to make babies in the spring. Maybe we should look to the squirrels and get out from behind these Glowing Screens. Fortify our nests and such.

Right after I update my facebook status.

Square Pegs and Round Holes

2008-11-10T14:31:00.004-06:00

Remember my dissatisfaction at the perceived deficiencies I found with my parent of teen bible class? Well, I was delivered from that class into our new children's wing to work in the Art room with the first through fourth grade. Whether this calling is divine or merely circumstantial remains to be seen, but it is a joy and a challenge.

So here is my dilemma. I found the cutest craft. It is a stuffed pumpkin which is perfect for this time of year. But. The deal with these crafts is, they must apply (more or less) to the story they are teaching that week. Thus, the challenge. The Story this week is about King Solomon. So, pumpkin - King Solomon. How do I make the connection? It is making my feeble brain hurt. If only I had, what is it called....oh yes, some wisdom.

Here is a link to the craft site 'cause I know you are going to want one for your very own.
http://crafts.kaboose.com/paper-bag-pumpkin.html

And a picture.

The Morning After

2008-11-05T08:32:00.004-06:00

I'm owning it. I voted for Obama.

Ok, so this is a different feeling. I have been the democrat depressed that the republican won. I have been the right wing conservative republican depressed that the democrat won. Now I find myself in the position of being a right leaning Christian who voted for Obama. Yeah, I'm happy that he won but I probably would have been nearly as happy had McCain taken it. But, now I find myself feeling the weight of those who would question my beliefs and make assumptions about my decision, including some of my own family. To that I say, cool. Question away. Assume away. Been there and done that. I know what I believe and I'm at peace with it. Not everyone has to agree with me. Call me flip flopper, wishy washy, whatever, I see it as growth, with a healthy dose of cynacism.

I don't think the next four years will be as glorious as some believe nor as dire as many are predicting this morning. Probably it will just be a lot of hard work and very tough decision making while the political machine chugs along as slowly as it ever did. The dems didn't get their filibuster proof majority and that's something isn't it?

So, if you are depressed this morning, I know the feeling. But take heart, this too shall pass. It may take four to eight years but as certain as death and taxes it will pass. Then it will be your turn again.

There is One who is in control and He will work through whomever is leading our country. Should we believe that or not?

The Halloween Classics

2008-10-29T11:29:00.004-05:00

Did you catch The Great Pumpkin on TV Tuesday night? We have it on DVD but there is just something special about having to wait an entire year to see those holiday specials on TV, with commercials and everything. Is there anything better than Charlie Brown?

A new(ish) classic, Nightmare Before Christmas is the DVD we tend to watch over and over this time of year. I can't get the songs out of my head till after Christmas. Unfortunately I am not allowed to sing "Kidnap the Sandy Claws". According to the five-year-old I don't do it justice. Everyone's a critic.

Candy Corn = evil. Do you have any? Could I have...just...one?

Tonight we carve pumpkins and if anyone is ambitious we will roast some seeds.

Have a safe and Happy All Hallows Eve Everyone and to my Catholic friends and family, Happy All Saints Day!

Fall Fell Full

2008-10-28T08:30:00.002-05:00

Your mission today, should you choose to accept it, is to go out side and find a wooded area. It doesn't have to be heavily wooded just a few trees is fine. Then stand there, or sit if that is more convenient. And listen.

I prescribe at least one half an hour, or the full hour if you're ambitious, but I understand how busy you are so even if you can only manage a few minutes it will be worth your time.

Thank you and have a nice day.

my new toy

2008-10-07T17:23:00.002-05:00

I am now blogging with my birthday present...my precious. Cough cough. Sorry, I don't know where that came from. Anyway I'm keeping it short because it's quite difficult to do this with my big fat fingers. Ok, maybe my fingers aren't that fat but these keys are teeny tiny.

Say hello to my new itouch!

Thank you honey!

Back-to-School

2008-08-28T10:22:00.003-05:00

Yay! History was made yesterday!

Ok. Moving on.

My oldest started college two weeks ago. On the second day of classes he wondered out loud why I wasn't there to take his picture on his first day of college like I was for his first day of Kindergarten. Seriously. You think that the things you do don't matter, or worse, humiliate your children and then they surprise you by the things that do matter to them. It happens to me all the time, and it's always, every time, a surprise.

I was there to photograph my youngest's first day of Kindergarten. Very few things, if any, are embarrassing to the five-year-old. But I would rather have had a camera later in the week to get a photo of the day my college student came with me to pick up the Kindergartner. Our walk to pick him up was like a walk through thirteen years of time lapse photography. You see, the five-year-old goes to the same school that the rest of my children attended. The college student started Kindergarten there thirteen years ago. Tree's have come and gone, residents have grown up and moved, teachers have retired and some have passed. The biggest difference, though, is the tree in front of the kindergarten door. When the college student started kindergarten there that tree was just about as tall as he is now. Today it towers over the school providing excellent shade for those of us waiting to pick up half day students in the noon day sun. We were quite the trio walking home, me with my oldest and youngest. Sometimes it blows my mind. Since I had no camera, I will leave you now with this fine artists rendering of the sentimental scene. Enjoy.

Being Green

2008-08-22T23:43:00.003-05:00

Life is all fun and games in Kindergarten. Every morning I wake the five-year-old up and ask him what day it is. He responds with a color. "It's yellow day" or, "It's blue day" Meaning that is the color of shirt they are supposed to wear to class that day. Today when I woke him up his answer was, "It's green day!" So, after dropping him off at school I sang to myself all the way home:
"I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone"

and so on.

It's funny if you think about it.

Olympic Updates

2008-08-21T09:25:00.003-05:00

Beach Volleyball:
How about that beach volleyball huh? Who knew I cared so much. I kept waking up my husband with my nervous spasms every time they missed a point and thank goodness they won or I would have never gotten to sleep.

Usain Bolt:
Are you kidding me? I think he's a computer animation. No way anyone that big is that fast. And speaking of computers....

Our Computer Overlords:
From the opening ceremony to the detection of 100th of a second margins. Could the Olympics even be held without computers. I loved the green line that marked the world record time in swimming. I wish they could use it for track.

Parents:
The parents are killing me. It's not like I'm not emotional enough between hormones and the beginning of school. With every victory they cut to the parents in the stands then I pretty much lose it.

Mark Spitz:
He's still looking good! I kinda miss the mustache though.

I will be sad when the games are over. Then, slowly all the names and accomplishments will fade from my memory . Till 2012 rolls the highlight reels. I can't wait. But for now? On to the next event. I am starting the countdown to the season premier of Heroes

Got Faith?

2008-08-20T12:49:00.002-05:00

I'm on pins and needles here wondering who our presumptive nominees are going to choose for their VP's. Not that it will really matter. Unless one of them chooses Michael Phelps, which has the added benefit of another Olympics in four years. Just in time for the next election cycle.

Meanwhile, I've got a question. My husband and I have a friend who is suffering great hardships. As a result this person is also struggling greatly with questions of faith. The same faith that used to be a defining characteristic in their life. It is troubling to watch, but understandable. My husband struggles with knowing what to say to this person and wanting to say the very thing that will "fix" them. I encourage him to just keep being there. It's not like we have all the answers. We do know the One with all the answers though, and I guess we'll have to trust that He will make them known. But, back to my question. If faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see, what determines who will and who will not keep the faith? Time and time again I see people of great faith travel through tragic circumstances and maintain their faith. Then there are those who are, instead, consumed by the circumstances. I absolutely cannot judge those who lose faith since I have not walked in their shoes. I suspect my question is rhetorical but my fearful nature desires an answer because, you know, what if? What if. Part of me wonders if it has to do with why we believe in the first place. Which leads me back to my other over-arching question, which is; why do you believe?

Gotta go ponder.

Multiple Choice

2008-08-19T08:55:00.002-05:00

Ah...I can breathe. Summer has successfully been completed and brains have been re-engaged. Well, except for mine that is. I suppose when I have a few days to think about it I will be sad and lonely. No. I don't think so. I'll let you know if that changes though. So now that I have enough time to write something other than a status update on Facebook I thought I'd make up a little quiz.
That reminds me of a joke my mom once told me. A certain teacher enjoyed giving his class short quizzes. He called them his quizzies. One day he told the class that they would be taking a series of short tests. He called them his (...you fill in the blank...)

Oh my, that one made me laugh. Almost as much as the one about the moth balls. What was the deal with my mom?

Ok enough of that here is the quiz. It's multiple choice, don't you love multiple choice?

Question #1. What is that smell??
A. the dog
B. the laundry
C. the garbage accumulated after cleaning the fridge and freezer
D. teenagers
E. all of the above

Question #2. How does one get rid of the smell?
A. Clean
B. leave the house
C. thermonuclear device
D. make the teenagers clean
E. bribe the trash man to make an early pick up

Question #3. The Lucky Guess Method?
A. a method to aid in helping your high school freshman with honors geometry
B. how to determine which day your child absolutely needs gym shoes for P.E.
C. how to determine where said shoes might be hidden
D. how to break a gold medal tie between two Olympic gymnasts
E. A & D
F. B & C

Question #4. What is the best way to spend two hours of free time a day M-Th?
A. Coffee with Shalee
B. Yoga.
C. Working out my middle aged body to Dara Torres like proportions.
D. Lord of the Rings marathon.
E. spiritual and emotional nourishment
F. naps

Here is the answer key:
#1. E and a few other unmentionables as well.
#2. I can't decide on this one, it's a toss up.
#3. Most assuredly E.
#4. Watch for me in the 2012 Olympics.

Dare you to watch this...

2008-08-09T11:50:00.000-05:00

...and not smile.

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

21 years!

2008-07-24T20:48:00.004-05:00

When my husband and I started dating we were young and in college. At one point in time, during that intense, passionate, infatuation stage of the relationship, I was working on an intense, passionate study of Marc Chagall for one of my classes. What timing! To this day I cannot see a Marc Chagall painting or print without getting all hot and bothered. Where you might see violin playing goats, giant chickens and random floating people I see the translation of true passion and romance.

Imagine a man who would contort himself like this just for you.

My husband, without much provocation, is still able to manage it. I am not gifted with fancy enough prose to express my affection for my husband, but I am gifted with the physical presence of my husband. For that I am eternally grateful.

Our marriage is now old enough to drink alcohol. Happy anniversary beloved! XXOO.

I'm Living in a Paper Jungle

2008-07-03T21:07:00.005-05:00

Remember the book "Holes" by Louis Sachar. It was also a MAJOR MOTION PICTURE. Well, the plot involved adolescent boys at a camp for delinquents who dug holes to build their character. Miles and miles and miles of holes. I am working on my own novel. The plot involves a middle aged housewife with no discernible system of organizing the reams of paper that flow through the average household. I'm going to call it "Piles". I'd say, look for it at a bookstore near you, but the manuscript has already become one with the the schoolwork, rabies certificates, bank statements, and doodles.

“I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on.” - Beryl Pfizer

HULK SMASH!

2008-06-27T15:37:00.002-05:00

My inner child is a nerdy thirteen year old fanboy.

Last night I was badly in need of escape. Being, in fact, a forty four year old married woman my fantasy is that my husband would immediately recognize my need and meet it with plane tickets to Hawaii or something of that sort. But, also being a realist I settled for the next best thing. I made arrangements so that we could sneak out to an early, cheap showing of The Incredible Hulk. Thank you AMC for $5.00 movies. It was, well, incredible. More incredible is the fact that there are at least three comic book/super hero inspired movies left to see this summer. I love Popcorn Season.

Bible Class

2008-06-23T16:57:00.003-05:00

What's the point?

I remember a time in my life when bible class seemed so important. Anymore it just feels like navel-gazing. Unless we take some time to actually do what it (the Bible) says what is the point. We spent forty five minutes in class this Sunday discussing some verse or other and at the end gave up five minutes for prayer requests. Five minutes. Covering subjects as diverse as cancer, missionaries, kidney transplant and aging parents, to name a few. Five minutes. Something feels broken. It's frustrating to do something as ineffective as mentioning this in a blog but what else can be done?

MNPLS or bust

2008-06-15T07:15:00.001-05:00

I'm in Minneapolis for the week. With a herd of teens. Pray for us.

RIP Tim Russert

2008-06-13T18:24:00.002-05:00

How will we make it through this year's election cycle?

I always enjoyed watching Tim Russert discuss the news but I grew to adore him during the 2000 election night roller coaster. Him and his white board. He seemed to me to be an insider, someone who knew and understood the players and the process in Washington and yet he remained cheerful and idealistic. And so I believed there was hope for the nation.

By all the accounts I am hearing he was a deeply faithful man. I am happy about for that. I will miss his point of view.

The Prodigal's Brother

2008-06-11T16:31:00.007-05:00

That's me. Even though I'm a girl. Which technically makes me the Prodigal's sister. Plus there are three or four prodigals in my family. So that, for those of you keeping score, makes me the prodigals' sister.

Still, better that than the actual prodigal. It's just, I think it would be nice if the Prodigals could learn from their mistakes.

Grieving for a friend

2008-06-05T12:06:00.003-05:00

Sometimes life is incomprehensible. Incomprehensibly bad. Like I just don't get why some things happen.

Maybe some day the things that are so tragic here on earth will not seem so bad. Eternal perspective. But meanwhile - it just stinks.

I like Rich Mullins song Hard To Get,

All I really need to know
Is if You who live in eternity
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in time
We can't see what's ahead
And we can not get free of what we've left behind

Well the whole song is good and kind of states how I feel.

Playing

2008-06-03T20:26:00.004-05:00

I may have some free time coming to me. Who knows if these things will really work out. But I'd like to do some playing around here. Normally I save the playing for my facebook profile but I decided I'd like to mess around some here. Look for changes. Or not.

I found a funky slide show thingy so I'm going to try it out on this post. Voila

Calm after the storm

2008-06-02T12:31:00.001-05:00

Everyone is gone for the week.

It's just me and the Five Year Old. Watching our weekly Spongebob marathon. No drama. No Conflict. No Explosions.

I'm bored.

That's no atomic explosion

2008-06-01T22:40:00.006-05:00

Can you hear the screaming in my head? All in all I'm pretty glad that this week is ending. Or is Sunday just the beginning? God help me.

Daughters. Oh sure, when things are good they are all puppy dogs and unicorns. But one false step and boom. Nuclear disaster. Fine, I can handle being the bad guy, truthfully, I kind of relish the challenge. What I could do without is the best friend's mom talking the big talk but caving at the first hint of conflict. Oh the Drama. Honestly, how are we going to get our daughters through life unmolested, unpregnant, with their self esteem in tact unless we back each other up?

I think there is some rule about not blogging during an emotional crisis but bear with me please. It is possible that the whole thing will blow over tomorrow. Till then somebody needs to write this stuff into the baby books so parents can have a clue about what they are in for. Yes that baby is cute now but the day is coming when he/she will take leave of their adorable little mind.

The Giving Tree

2008-05-28T10:06:00.006-05:00

I need to get more original with my blog titles, I know.

But check this out.This is one of many trees from my childhood. It stands in my parents neighbor's back yard. This is a photo from last fall.

A silent witness, this tree stood vigil over careless youth and tumultuous teen angst. Every fall our neighborhood mob would strip our yards of their leaves and deposit them behind this tree then swing to dizzying heights and fling ourselves onto the pile. Eventually a parent would realize what we were doing and come to spoil our fun. No doubt this same tree nurtured many a generation before ours and stood long enough for my own children to swing from it's limbs. Till last Saturday.

Here is a shot from the same side as the first photo. The perspective is a little funky. My Dad is not that small.

Then on Sunday the second half came down.

Thankfully no one was hurt and there was amazingly little property damage. But we are all mourning the loss of our big friend.

The Neverending Story

2008-05-27T10:23:00.002-05:00

I remember, roughly eighteen years ago, waking up in a panic, springing from the bed and into my firstborn baby's room. I had been asleep for six hours and I was certain the outcome would be tragic. Once inside his room I watched silently, intently for the telltale sign, the raising and lowering of his chest to indicate that he was alive and breathing. He was. Instant relief. Could it be? He had defied all the baby books and actually slept through the night at something like six weeks old. This scenario would repeat itself for a week or so before I could relax and accept that it wasn't a sign of impending doom but just the way he was.

Fast forward eighteen years.

It's graduation night and our new graduate is attending an all night party. It's sponsored by the school so I'm not worried. But. At five in the morning the dog wakes me to take him out and I am hit again by that familiar feeling from long ago. Panic. Did he make it home? Well, yes. On the way downstairs I ran into him in the kitchen. Instant relief.

Honestly, they have no clue about the roller coaster ride they take us on, these kids. And if they did they would just roll their eyes and wonder what the big deal is. I miss those carefree days. But I do love a good roller coaster ride.

Whomp.....and just like that...

2008-05-25T18:46:00.002-05:00

...it's summer.

I know because we went to the pool today. I crammed my chubby white body into my mommy swimsuit and made the trek. Once our five year old saw the pool was open it was only a matter of time. He is quite the motivator. Thankfully the eighteen year old tagged along so he had a playmate and I was able to take my sweet time getting used to the frigid water. It took me an hour and fifteen minutes to inch myself into the deep end. Then I did five laps and beached myself to soak up the sun and humidity that has dropped on us like a wet blanket. No sense in overdoing it.

Yay for summer.

celebratory after-game bragging post???

2008-04-09T10:34:00.004-05:00

For you Jules.

In fact I cut and pasted your comment.

Here it is.

Yay Jayhawks!!!!!!!!!

Booooooooo talking head sports guys. (That goes for you radio commentators too.)

Note to KU: please offer Bill Self enough money to stay so we don't have to start the revenge cycle all over again. And while you're at it how about a little hand out for my kid?

De Ja Vu

2008-04-07T12:04:00.003-05:00

I am in a pretty dark mood lately but I am taking a break from all that to eat caramel corn and cheer for the Jayhawks in tonights NCAA final.

It's almost like 1988 all over again. Except it's a different team. And a different coach. And I'm twenty years older. Second thought, it's not very much like 1988, but hey, the t-shirt still fits!

Our New Normal

2008-03-27T08:55:00.002-05:00

I guess this is an update.

I've reached an uneasy truce with the family crisis that occurred a couple months back. Thankfully the problem seems to have been caught quickly and, with professional help, behaviors are changing. Here is what I hate about the whole thing. I'm afraid I will never be able to relax again. I'm afraid that as soon as I let my guard down something will flare up again. It's an uneasy state to live in but not a tragic one. In relation to what other families are dealing with it could even be considered a blessing. Not that the thing itself is good but it's a thing with a solution. The blessing is the positive changes that are able to be made. It's just, I've realized that I resist change. Even positive change. I consider it a good sign, though, that I was able to face it, be honest about it and get the help that was needed. I guess that what parenting boils down to.

Yadda yadda

2008-03-25T12:42:00.003-05:00

Remember the Seinfeld episode where they yadda yadda sex? I'm there. Not my own. Certainly not. But, in films, in books, in music, even political commentary, could I please get a yadda here and there in place of the thrusting, moaning and general all around vulgar language. Yes we are all grown up and it's a fact of life and people do have casual sex and use vulgar language. It's not even particularly shocking or edgy any more. In fact, I'm just.......bored. Isn't it out of our culture's system yet? Can't we get back to where a good story is enough? A good story using elevated, even poetic, language? No? It's got to be out there somewhere, literature, music, or film that doesn't depict honest love by forcing me to experience the mechanics of reproduction. Here is how I recognize such a beast: I imagine watching, reading or listening with my children or with my parents. If I can keep from cringing, that's it. Can someone tell me where it is?

Repent?

2008-03-20T14:15:00.003-05:00

The Cranes were a bust.

Here is the story (or non-story) of the Cranes. I ended up asking my dad to go with me. To my surprise he said yes. I shouldn't have been surprised because it makes sense, he grew up in the area, and enjoys a good road trip. That's the nature of our relationship, though. Uncertainty. Well, we ended up turning around. We were traveling from Lincoln NE to the Grand Island area and turned around in York. Roughly half way. There was rain and falling temps added to the darkness which makes my dad nervous these days. By myself I would have pressed on and maybe ended up in a ditch, or worse. So I choose to believe that he saved my life by going with me. And don't even think about me asking to drive for him. If my dad can't do it no one can. Well, in his opinion.

Next year. Or the next, God willing. That's what's great about the cranes. They'll always be there.

This incident demonstrates a theme in my life right now though that I think I need to meditate on sooner or later. The theme is turn around. It keeps coming back to me in various forms. I think God is trying to tell me something. But what.

Multiple Choice

2008-03-16T08:07:00.003-05:00

Which gets better results:

A. Parenting teens.

B. Banging your head against the wall.

The boys are off on their camping adventure. In the car, on the way to drop them off we had this interesting exchange:

Me: Where are your gloves?
Eighteen-Year-Old: I didn't pack any.
Me: You are going to die of frostbite.
EYO: (looking incredulous) We didn't need them last year.
Me: Sixteen years (combined) of Scouting.......wasted.
Sixteen-Year-Old: But mom, we didn't need them them last year.

And society expects them to listen to me when I tell them to cover "other" parts of their body.

Compare and Contrast

2008-03-12T08:01:00.004-05:00

I'm still undecided on my spring break options but I've been spending some time in front of the Crane Cam. There is a lot of noise, a lot of eating and a lot of mating dances going on. So I thought to myself, this is not entirely unlike any given gathering of our youth group at church. Except the plumage is more colorful. On the teens.

What To Do

2008-03-10T13:33:00.003-05:00

At some vague unspecified time in the near future I have a choice set before me. My entire family, save the Four-Year-Old, is leaving me to travel to unknown corners of the earth for fun and frivolity while I sit at home pondering my choices. Choice number one: stay home and rip up tile and remove wallpaper from the bathroom in anticipation of a redo. Someday. Choice number two: take off myself to central Nebraska to commune with the Sandhill Cranes in the midst of their migration, and attempt to get a photo or two hundred.

Surprisingly my husband chooses choice number one. I'm taken aback that he would leave me home with such a destructive directive at my disposal. (how's that for alliteration)

I'm leaning towards choice number two. You may wonder what's so great about spending time in the company of a multitude of birds at time when most choose the company of a multitude of sun worshipers. Well, if you have to ask you wouldn't understand. Plus, I can't afford to go to the beach.

The easy choice is to destroy the bathroom. Traveling gets more complicated: childcare, weather, sleep-deprivation are factored into the decision. However travel is ultimately the more satisfying choice.

Hmm, Stay tuned.

To be continued....

Zoo Two

2008-03-03T21:33:00.003-06:00

This weekend I saw this animal in my back yard. Can anyone tell me what it is?

Ha! I kid.

Actually, we made another trip to the Zoo this weekend. This time My hubby and daughter came along. We weren't the only ones who had that idea on a beautiful pre-spring day either, because the parking lot was filled to overflowing. It was great to see so many people there. Not all the animals were out but the one's that were, were really out, if you know what I mean. Both the exotic:

And the not so exotic.
So, if you live anywhere near KC visit the zoo on one of our upcoming fine spring days. Yes, I know, Omaha has the zoo to end all zoos but ours is getting better, and, if you buy a membership you can get into the Omaha zoo at half price. And that's not all. You also get a workout because, oh my, is it a long way around the African section.

Brain Dump

2008-03-01T13:22:00.002-06:00

I'll be as brief as possible but I've got a lot to get off my mind. Warning, may be temperamental.

I'm a quiet person. People often feel the need to point this out to me through this brilliant observation, "You are so quiet" Oh really? I hadn't noticed. I am often tempted to counter with this equally brilliant observation, "That's because you never shut up." Sheesh, learn to listen people. (present company excepted. I'm sure you are all good listeners.)

Springtime is here. I'm calling it. A sure sign is the fact that my children have become bottomless pits. The annual spring growth spurt has arrived and we cannot keep enough food in the house. The Eighteen-Year-Old may even manage to squeak out another fraction of an inch before it's all said and done. The Sixteen-Year-Old looks down at me from a greater height every day. My daughter is still coming to terms with the fact that she has no choice in the height department, however, she is still shorter than me. And the Four-Year-Old? The Four-Year-Old is officially out of the 0-5T department and into the boys. Tear.

Higher Edjookayshun costs too stinking much. We make too much to qualify for assistance but not enough to pay with out a loan. And, our kid is smart enough to make great grades but not enough for schools to throw money at him. Hello debt, sorry Dave Ramsey.

Finally, when, for the love of Horned Rim Glasses, is Heroes going to be back?

R.I.P. William F. Buckley

2008-02-28T12:41:00.002-06:00

Last night I turned on Charlie Rose and observed that he was doing a retrospective of William F. Buckley interviews. Uh Oh, I thought, he must have died. I sent the Sixteen-Year-Old to google it for me and sure enough.

I will miss him. I loved to watch him talk. Honestly most of what he said sailed right over my head but watching him speak: his mannerisms, his inflections, his insanely brilliant vocabulary, fascinated me. So here's to a bastion of conservatism in a time when significant change seems afoot. We've lost a thoughtful speaker, writer and conversationalist and are left in a world where feeling now trumps everything and entertainment is what passes for news. Sigh. I think I'll make a trip to the library for one of his books before I start to forget.

Happy Holidays

2008-02-25T14:02:00.002-06:00

In my efforts to shed my house of unwanted pounds we are tackling the Four-Year-Old's room today. So guess what? It's like Christmas all over again. Heaven forbid that anything land in the give away pile. Doing so immediately bestows favorite toy status upon the previously forgotten plaything. I'm going to employ some video game distraction maneuvers. Hey, don't judge, it's all for the greater good.

Some More About Belief

2008-02-22T11:30:00.002-06:00

Can a person really believe without facing challenges to that belief? I understand childlike faith but can it be maintained if no one or no thing ever challenges it?

It is my greatest hope that my children's faith will become their own but my greatest fear is the opposition that they may face. How can I reconcile this? Maybe I can't. Maybe I just have to have faith.

Belief

2008-02-20T12:06:00.002-06:00

Recently I discovered that someone I had assumed was a believer, was, in fact, not. By believer, I mean believer in God. I was shocked by this revelation because this person is very, very active in church. I asked myself, "What is my responsibility here?" And I had no answer for myself. I think about it a lot because my family runs the gamut of belief from hellfire and brimstone to agnostic, but I have never had much success influencing anyone one way or another. If anyone has an answer feel free to enlighten me.

The fact that a person can turn from one belief to another fascinates and moves me. My own story is very anti-climatic. I always believed in God, which I attribute to my mom. My relationship with Jesus began at a later time but it was basically a move from a belief to a relationship. One of my brothers, on the other hand, had a very dramatic conversion. I once witnessed a guy become a believer while watching the northern lights. He may or may not have been drinking though, and I was only acquainted with him for that one summer so I'm not sure if that one stuck. It would have been nice if I'd been in a position to point him in a direction that would strengthen his faith, but I was seeking the very thing at that time. Now that I am in a position to do so I am very nearly as clueless as I was back then. I have ideas, but again, few results. So what is it that moves a person from non-belief to belief? I mean, I know it is the conviction of the Holy Spirit but I would love to know from people, what or who convinced them to listen. And what did that look like?

PMS and Presidents

2008-02-18T18:35:00.003-06:00

Happy Presidents Day!

Apparently my entire family is suffering from PMS. During a uncontrollable craving for chocolate I made a pan of fudge and sat at the table while one by one the rest of my family came in and made it disappear. Granted it was only half a recipe, but still. Still. I guess I should thank them because it saved me the trouble of eating it all myself.

It being President's Day and all I'll share with you a dream I had. It's relevant, I promise. In my dream President Clinton came to my house to try and talk us in to voting for Hilary. My house was a mess, as usual, but I didn't care. Neither did President Clinton. I liked him for that. Dream Clinton was a pretty nice guy. I don't think I'll be voting for Hilary though, or changing my political affiliations for that matter, but you never know. Crazier things have happened.

Love is.......

2008-02-16T18:04:00.003-06:00

... a warm spot.

The Time Has Come

2008-02-11T22:07:00.000-06:00

I need to lose some weight. I think about 500 pounds is a realistic goal. No not that kind of weight. I need to get rid of some of the crap weighing down my life. My "Stuff". George Carlin had a good bit about it wherein he called it something equally appropriate, but I intend to remain family friendly.

Seriously I think 500 pounds ought to make a pretty good start, but I really have no idea how much 500 pounds is. In an effort to make a start I let my daughter go through my mountainous stack of clean clothes and take out the things she thought I shouldn't wear anymore. When added up it came to 4.84 lbs. One hundred more stacks or so of the same size and I'm golden. I'm just so sad to give up my holey (Not holy) jammie pants.

Stupid Germs

2008-02-09T15:46:00.001-06:00

They heard me.

I discovered a thing or two in my achy fevered state, though. The best thing is how I managed to avoid the nasty cough and congestion that has derailed every other member of my family. I'm pretty sure I owe it all to this fancy gadget. Disgusting, yes, but very effective.

For My Kids

2008-02-07T11:37:00.001-06:00

who cannot believe they had to go to school this morning.

I know parents have been doing this since the beginning of time but I've got to get this off my chest before my brain explodes. Doing it online ensures that I will not have to endure the eye rolling and whispered incredulity that tends to accompany my blasts from the past.

When I was your age.....
The time, January 21, 1982, the place, Minneapolis. I was attending the Minneapolis College of Art and Design at the age of eighteen, living in an apartment just south of downtown Minneapolis. Two days after a record breaking seventeen inches of snow in twenty four hours, on top of roughly eight inches of snow already on the ground, we experienced a second record breaking snow of twenty inches in twenty four hours with drifting up to ten feet. Add to that lows of negative twenty degrees or less. Real degrees, not wind chill. Awesome doesn't begin to describe it. My roommate, her boyfriend and I built a snow fort about the size of a city block. But, did they cancel classes? N. O. Not only that, but I didn't have a car so I was, indeed, walking to school in ten feet of snow.

I wasn't barefoot though. I'll give you that.

My Husband is Hot!

2008-02-06T11:57:00.000-06:00

103 degrees to be exact.

I don't mean to be flippant. Well, yes I do. See, in a strange, inexplicable turn of events it turns out that this time, he's the one to fall victim to the kid germs. I guess I've finally built up some immunity. Now I better shut up before the germs hear me.

Seriously, stay away from here. I'm throwing up the quarantine sign.

Happy Super Fat Tuesday

2008-02-05T13:21:00.000-06:00

Still on fever patrol. Fortunately it gives me the excuse I need to park myself in front of the television to watch primary/caucus coverage. When I can talk the Four-year-old out of Spongebob, that is. The only way it could be better is if I could be out there primary-ing or caucusing myself. Sadly, on this side of the state line it's Democrats only today. Now for the important question. What the heck is a caucus anyway?

About the Weather

2008-02-04T14:33:00.000-06:00

It's February fourth. It's 67 degrees outside. While the rest of my family battles real fevers of, I am fighting my own battle with Spring Fever. And I'm barely conscious.

Caring for a sick Four-Year-Old is not for the faint of heart. Last night was a brand new experience for me. Night Terrors. I don't think they were authentic night terrors, though, because he did come out of it eventually. They were more like fever dreams. After a half an hour of staring at me and screaming out in fear and yelling out nonsense he managed to calm down and I spent the rest of the night with him in the recliner listening to his feverish non-sequiturs.

Which brings me to the present. I just sneaked out of the house leaving the Four-Year-Old with the also ailing Eighteen-Year-Old so I could purchase some much needed Motrin. It hit me as soon as I walked out the door. The warm breeze. The feeling of heat radiating off the concrete. The smell of the soil awakening from the deep freeze. BAM. Spring fever. Now the weatherpeople are calling for another round of snow and freezing rain tomorrow. Unfortunately there is no going back for me. I've got it bad and I won't be satisfied till the hyacinths bloom.

I blame the groundhog.

Denmark is Looking Pretty Good

2008-01-30T10:30:00.000-06:00

Well this is turning out to be a cheery week. You've probably seen it all over the news. Depression peaks at age 44. Guess how old I am.

Here is a highly scientific graph to demonstrate.
That explains a few things. Not just about me but about my peer group in general and why we are so heavily medicated. But! isn't this just warmed over midlife crisis? Haven't we known this forever? I remember when we were all getting married and having babies and feeling as if we were the first generation to have experienced these life events. Now we're all unhappy. Alert the press! Good job news people and smart people who study these things. That was money well spent.

What Were We Thinking? Thinking Had Nothing To Do With It.

2008-01-28T14:44:00.001-06:00

Roughly eighteen years ago someone at the hospital handed me this....

(our firstborn, aka, Cap'n Jean Luc Picard)

and sent me home without a clue.

Now, nearly two decades later, through trial and error and by the grace of God we've ended up with a mighty fine human being. He's still a work in progress, of course, but so far so good.

Henceforth the seventeen-year-old shall be referred to as the eighteen-year-old. Happy birthday my firstborn.

Inhale, Exhale, Repeat.

2008-01-23T14:36:00.000-06:00

A couple of weeks ago our family began a new normality. The rug was pulled out from underneath me for a brief time and left me in a bit of crisis vortex for a while. What I'm trying to say is, my family is facing a difficult problem at this time. One good consequence of growing up in a constant state of semi-crisis is the knowledge that, this too shall pass. Or, if it doesn't pass, it will soon be integrated into life-as-you-know-it. So our current crisis has started to weave it's way in.

I'd like to be less vague but it is not exactly my problem to share. What I can share is how I now fight feelings of being a complete failure as a parent. I am occasionally able to put those feelings into perspective but it's a constant battle. A battle because one of the very things that I had hoped to protect my child from has now reared it's ugly evil head. Ugh. No one is in imminent danger of death, divorce or even dismemberment but this is serious stuff. Hopefully we have caught this thing early enough to keep it from becoming as destructive as it once was to me.

So why bother even saying anything about it on this blog? I don't know really. I considered several times over the last couple of weeks bagging it all up and calling it a day and taking my blogging offline. I considered moving my blog elsewhere and beginning again with a clean slate. I've actually done that a couple of times now. I'm going to hang in there (or here), though, because this thing has actually done me a lot of good in the last year. It is a creative outlet that doesn't leave a mess around the house. It's about as simple as that.

I hope to have more to share about this new normality. It may be that I can only share how I am affected by it or how God is working through these circumstances but It will not become the definition of my life. There is still a dog that needs attention, toilets to clean and a four year old who tells me my chubby tummy makes a good pillow. All is not lost.

See ya soon.

Is This Fun or What

2008-01-08T10:12:00.000-06:00

I'm as cynical as anyone that grew up in the Watergate era but seriously, isn't this fun? A primary season where there is no foregone conclusion. People fired up by Presidential elections that ended up being decided by the Supreme Court. Two, viable, history making candidates. An evangelical not making apologies for his opinions. Wow. Fun.

At the end of this month we will have a new voter in the house. I am trying to impart wisdom to him the best I can so that he will be able to make an informed decision, not just vote based on his parents preferences. He is excited to vote but getting informed doesn't hold a great amount of interest to him. Maybe I'll ground him to his room to watch CNN, Fox and the BBC. That should even it out don't you think?

This post could just as easily have been a rant about what I think is wrong with the American system of politics but as I look at Pakistan and look at Kenya, I'm thinking, it's not so bad after all.

What I Like About Not Blogging

2008-01-07T12:06:00.001-06:00

It means I'm actually living. Doing exciting real life tasks like...... laundry, carpet cleaning, moving piles of paper to and fro, driving hither and yon.

It's not all glamor and fame though. I actually completed that on again off again job-that would-not-die. Now that I have a little breathing space I think I'll spend some time contemplating the meaning of life, getting to know the candidates and honing my guitar hero skills.

One question about that guitar hero deal: does Slash have to contend with a four-year-old hanging on his leg begging for a jelly sandwich during his guitar solos? I think not. How about a harried mom handicap guitar hero people.

So I Was Going to Run off and Pursue My Dream.

2008-01-01T20:37:00.001-06:00

But that Guitar Hero audience isn't doing my self esteem any favors. So I'm just going to finish the laundry. At least it doesn't boo at me.

One more for 07

2007-12-31T12:54:00.000-06:00

Summing up the year the cheap way, with a meme. Answers in blue.

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before? Witnessed the Jayhawks beat the living snot out of the Huskers.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't even remember making a resolution last year. This year I resolve not to forget my resolution. My resolution is not to buy any more shirts that are too small for my freakishly long body and even more freakishly wide shoulders and long arms, just because they are on clearance.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Just missed this. My baby sister had a baby last New Year's Eve. Happy B-day baby C!

4. Did anyone close to you die? My Grandma.

5. What countries did you visit? Marioland, Babyland, Christamas land, Lava land, Spongebob land, Ad infinitum. All courtesy of a four year old's imagination. Oh, and Texas (for real).

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? More energy

7. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Mural painting.

8. What was your biggest failure? I wish I would have stood up stronger to a certain jerk of a human. Oh and I wish I were more forgiving.

9. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nope

10. What was the best thing you bought? My French press.

11. Where did most of your money go? With three teens in the house, food.

12. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The season premier of Heroes. How pathetic.

13. Compared to this time last year, are you:  a) happier or sadder?  b) thinner or fatter?  c) richer or poorer? a) happier. b)the same. c)poorer, we are paying for insurance for two teen boy drivers.

14. What do you wish you’d done more of? Dating my husband. Getting my bible study done daily instead of cramming it all in on the last day of the week (I am getting better at this). Actively participating in the four year old's games. Spending time alone with each of my kids. Non computer artwork.

15. What do you wish you’d done less of? Worrying.

16. What was the best book you read? This was a year of reading books so I could read them before the movie. More often than not I never make it to the movie. I just finished reading Atonement. I has really gotten under my skin. I was often frustrated while reading this book because it requires a level of attention that I'm barely capable of at the moment. I'm also not quite sure I agree that there was any actual "atonement" made in the plot. I can't get the story out of my mind though. I think it was written beautifully in sometimes agonizing detail and self reflection. It contains the most fantastically accurate description of a migraine that I have ever read. I'm undecided about seeing the movie. I'll probably rent it.

17. What did you want and get? A tall table for my kitchen

18. What did you want and not get? A vacation in San Diego.

19. What kept you sane? Prayer, my own and others. Breathing. Smiling.

20. Who did you miss? I really missed my Grandma at Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Happy New Year Interwebs!

Breaking News

2007-12-19T10:03:00.000-06:00

I'm poking my head in from all the Christmas merriment to bring you this breaking news alert. Peter Jackson to produce The Hobbit movies! Yes, not one, but two movies. And, while I still haven't really gotten over what he did to Faramir and the fact that he brought Frodo and Sam to Osgiliath, this is fantastic news to me. I now have something to look forward to again, cinematically speaking. The release date is planned for 2010 so the four year old will be in school all day and I can slink off to the local theater on opening day. I'm not geeky enough to sit in line, dressed in character for the midnight show but I do like to see the first show on opening day with all the other fringe geeks.

OK , back to your regularly scheduled merriment.

The Iceman Cometh

2007-12-10T13:32:00.000-06:00

Apologies to Eugene O'neill.

What is it with KC. Nine times out of ten our "big" winter storms come in the form of ice. I remember coming to KC to pick up my brother from the Art Institute one year, I noticed that the forested areas off the interstate looked like someone had inserted giant toothpicks randomly throughout. I later came to realize that those were tree trunks snapped like twigs as a result of heavy ice.

Our forecasters are predicting the second ice age tonight, that is, if (big if), the temperature stays below 32 degrees. Bring it on. It can't be worse than the "Storm of 02" That was the storm that showed me what a big baby I am. Five days without power. Five days! I worry for our trees though. One more branch off the gum tree in back and it's surely a goner. Oh well, more free fire wood. Bundle up and stay warm people. I'm off to shop for provisions.

If the Angels Created a Metal Band

2007-12-09T17:30:00.000-06:00

I think it would sound pretty much like Trans-Siberian Orchestra. It is a commonly known fact, as any fan of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure can tell you, that symphonic music + metal = eargasm. Sorry to be indelicate but there it is. My magnificent husband surprised me one day (in October) with tickets to this year's concert. If you are unfamiliar with their music perhaps you have seen this video that made the rounds last year, or the year before. The music is TSO's Wizards in Winter. Honestly, I prefer to feel my Christmas Carols. Feel them as a driving beat in my gut. Look, I know this doesn't really wash with my attitude from a few posts back about mall music but let me back pedal a little bit. It's all about the venue. Loud music while shopping? bad. Loud music in a 15,000 seat auditorium? good. And lights, lots and lots of lights. Strobe, laser, spot, pyrotechnics and spewing flames, all good.

Here is a crudcam photo of me and my husband in our awesome seats. We got bumped from our back of the auditorium seats to the floor, twelve rows back center stage. Insane.
Here is a crudcam video of the finale. Note the bald head right in front of me reflecting the breathtaking lightshow.

If they are ever in your neighborhood it is a show well worth the price of a ticket.

Christmas Fun

2007-12-04T16:00:00.001-06:00

Or what passes for it at our house.

See how the front end feels about it?

Don't feel to sad for him, he got a piece of cheese out of the deal.

I know I'm not the boss of you,

2007-12-03T13:21:00.000-06:00

but I really think you should go check this out at my favorite blog.

Retail Hell

2007-11-30T15:15:00.000-06:00

The number one thing on my "Things I dread" list?

Shopping.

Except Target, I love a nice stroll around the local Target. No, I'm talking Mall shopping. Leave it to me to have a daughter that lives to shop. For her birthday we've taken to giving her a gift card to our friendly neighborhood mall and she just couldn't be happier. Everyone is happy, till it comes time to take her to said mall.

This week I had to suck it up, hold my breath and dive on in seeing as she has NOTHING to wear and no one else to take her shopping. The store of choice for this visit was Hollister. And I allow it because, one, it's her money (technically) and two, they don't advertise with p0rn0gr@phy. (cough, Abercrombie & Fitch, cough) Still, I have some advice for Hollister management. Really, what retailer isn't just dying to get advice from a fashion challenged forty something stay at home mom.

First of all, turn down the music!!!* Trust me on this; it will surely save a lawsuit down the line when your youthful sales staff grow up and realize they have premature hearing loss. And if you don't turn it down, I shall be forced to get out the comfy chairs you so kindly provide (thank you from all parents-of-teens-that-don't-yet-drive) and dance with the four year old. I don't think anyone wants to see that.

On second thought, probably no one would see me dancing. Which brings me to my second piece of advice which is: turn on some lights already.

My final piece of advice, and the only one directly impacting the merchandise is: how about you take some of the extra fabric from those saggy boy jeans and add it on to the nothing left to the imagination girl jeans. Give a mother a break. Please.

Oh yeah, like that's gonna fly. Oh well, at least I got it off my chest.

*and while you're at it, get off the lawn!

Right on Top of Things (a [bad] poem)

2007-11-30T08:17:00.000-06:00

As usual.

This morning in the shower I thought up the greatest, greatest come back.

For a situation that happened about two years ago.

No, I'm not going to tell you what it was,

you had to be there.

Me and my crazy ideas

2007-11-29T14:21:00.000-06:00

I have a crazy idea. Really nutty. With the added bonus that it would probably never work. So to get it out of my system and avoid embarrassment I confess it here where it won't hurt anyone.

On a couple of occasions our church has bought out an auditorium to watch a movie. We did it with The Passion of the Christ and again with Narnia. It was cool and everything. I was thinking though. What if we went as a church to see The Golden Compass. I've been listening to the controversy and reading my email warnings and such and I just thought; the world is going to expect us, (right winger, religious, conservative Christian, evangelistic, soccer mom, add your own label here ________ ) to react to this movie a certain way. What if we made like George Constanza and did the complete opposite? Instead of boycotting the movie, all of us could run out to see the movie and engage the world in some dialog about what this story is trying to say. I've read the trilogy and really there are some valid points for discussion. Yes, the author is an atheist and yes, he is a little preachy in this aspect of his books. But there are some legitimate grievances in there regarding organized religion. Could we all sit down and talk civilly. Or would it just go all Jerry Springer?

Like I said, Crazy.

Oh Mom!

2007-11-28T10:45:00.001-06:00

Yesterday I established that I am the type of parent that lets the TV babysit my child. Another day, another revelation. Now is the part where I tell you that I let my two boys drive to the same school every morning. Separately. Trust me, I have my reasons. I'm sure they're really good reasons too.

This morning the older boy called me from his car (big no-no) to ask if I was watching the news and did I know why there were police at every intersection on the road he takes to school. No, I didn't know but I immediately disconnected in a panic so I could call son number two (Also a big no-no). Why? One, to make sure he was still alive, and two, to make sure that the police activity did not involve him in any way. I could hear his eyes rolling over the phone. Big sigh! he was still alive and not under arrest. Turns out it was some kind of manhunt. I'm a little fuzzy on the details but I'll catch up on the news tonight.

Sometimes, as a parent, I give in to my impulses to OVER react to situations. I know I am doing it, and I am powerless to stop myself. I know chances are that it will turn out to be nothing. I can predict my children's reaction to my behavior, and yet, I can not stop myself. It is then that my cup overflows with understanding and I thank God that my parents are still alive so that I can call them up and say, I get it. I finally get it.

Easily Entertained

2007-11-27T11:00:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I notice things. Insignificant things that wouldn't matter to anyone else, but none the less bring a little joy into my day.

I'm sitting here retouching photos of my son the senior, trying to come up with a decent and not cheap looking senior photo. It's tedious work. I've got the television on Noggin in an effort to keep the Four year old entertained while I work. Well, it keeps me entertained too. Anyway, a song came on. It's one of those little bumpers they play in between shows since there are no commercials. It was a fun little song which is why I looked up from my work in the first place. What I noticed was, the lead singer for the band playing this song was none other than, Steve. The Steve formerly of Blues Clues. Completely bald. Wearing squirrel ears. And me smiling from ear to ear. Good to see he's still working.

Zoo News

2007-11-08T17:18:00.000-06:00

First of all, can anyone tell me how it got to be Thursday already?

And now for something completely different.

The four year old and I visited the Kansas City Zoo on Monday. Our zoo gets a bad rap. It doesn't help that the almighty Omaha zoo is just down the interstate for contrast and comparison. Unfair! I say. True, you have to walk for what seems like miles and often the animals are out of sight. I just think that for the animals, our zoo is great. Dare I say it, I think it's better than the Omaha zoo. They have lots and lots of room to roam in most sections and I don't mind a little extra footwork for that. Having said that, though, I think our new zoo director is working to amend some of the flaws in the zoo's design to make it more human friendly. Already there is a shortcut that knocks at least fifteen minutes off the hike to the Africa section. I'm pulling for our zoo and I think the competition with the Omaha zoo will only make it better. In the mean time, go visit the zoo on a nice cool fall day and hopefully you will see lots and lots of animal activity like we did last Monday. Here are a few of the photos we were able to get and really, the photos took themselves.

Awwww, "Come and see me", he says.

One insecurity down......

2007-11-06T09:43:00.000-06:00

Is there anyone out there who can introduce me to an artist that isn't completely, inherently, deeply, fundamentally, insecure about their work. We are all able to "sell it" I know. But does anyone really, Really, believe in what they are doing? Sorry, my cynicism is showing.

I'm working on a job right now that I have absolutely no confidence in. In fact I turned it down at first because it really isn't my style or strength but in time I was talked into taking it. I think the person offering it to me is a little desperate. Plus, the money before Christmas ain't bad. I am preparing myself constantly to lose this job, though, and it's a very distinct possibility for several reasons. Reasons which don't even have that much to do with competence but in the end that's where I end up, feeling completely incompetent. I was really letting it get to me. But then Nebraska lost the football game to Kansas on Saturday and I was watching Coach Callahan try to explain his team and suddenly my little anxieties didn't stack up. I transferred my anxieties in empathy for the coach and his team. Oddly enough, it really helped. It gave me enough distance so I could put it in a new perspective. Oh I'm still nervous and all, but it gave an opportunity to allow me to let God have my anxiety. I have to constantly remind myself to give it up but it reminds me that no matter where I end up with this job, with it or without it, competent or not, that is where God wants me to be. I'm trying to see the bigger picture.

Matthew 11:28-30

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Does Not Compute.

2007-11-04T19:56:00.000-06:00

As a Nebraska ex-Pat who attended KU there was really no way I could lose on this one. Or was it no way I could win? Whatever. This one takes a little getting used to.

The Day After

2007-11-01T13:35:00.000-05:00

The Four year old's Jack-o-Lantern.

Brains a little fried.
Eyes a little sunken.
Lights out on the inside.
I'd say that pretty well describes me, except I'm chubbier.

My Fickle Mind

2007-10-31T10:20:00.000-05:00

Today I took the four year old to school for the Halloween Parade. While we were there we visited some old friends in the Library and took a peek at the kindergarten room where he will probably be a student next year. Where has the time gone, sigh.

But that's not where I'm going with this.

There was a time not so long ago...... OK, it was a long time ago. It was BK (before kids). Is there any parent so knowledgeable as the parent without children? Let me answer that for you. No. I had it my mind that my children would never celebrate the Satanic holiday of Halloween. Probably not even a "harvest celebration" because that just seemed like a lame imitation. Yeah right. Fast forward to the parent of a dinosaur obsessed three year old and Presto! all my convictions crumble like a house of cards. From there the pendulum swung to the most opposite extreme. Long sleepless nights making costumes so that my little powerranger/princess/mario/fireman/ladybug/ninja/ad infinitum would stand out from the crowd, thus proving that I loved my kid more than the parents who settled for the store bought costume. Then came a day when my children dared to refuse my costume ideas. I felt lighter, like a burden had suddenly been lifted off my shoulders. Again, my convictions crumbled.

Tonight, my older kids will throw together costumes five minutes before leaving for a trunk or treat our youth group is hosting. I will walk the neighborhood with the Four year old in his Mario costume: overalls, a red shirt and a red hat, bought at Wal-Mart. To complete the look I'll stick a piece of electrical tape under his nose for a mustache. When we get home, I'll steal all his M&M's.

Happy Halloween!

The abbreviated version

2007-10-29T11:00:00.000-05:00

The memorial service was a gathering of the usual suspects. Together now only for weddings and funerals. Since Grandma was the common denominator for many of us there are some I imagine I won't see again. That is life I guess. There was one insanely inappropriate moment of hilarity at the interment. There is no way I could do it justice, though, because it was one of those "you had to be there" moments. Here is the photograph. Direct your attention to the man on the ground. He is attempting to lower the cement case containing the ashes into the ground. The hilarity ensues between the top of his pants and the bottom (no pun intended) of his jacket/shirt.

Meanwhile Back at the Ranch

2007-10-28T19:58:00.000-05:00

I was back in Nebraska this weekend for my Grandma's memorial service. I'd like to write about it tomorrow so I'm mentioning it here to hold myself accountable.

Meanwhile I'm going to edit some photos of my eldest and watch Nightmare Before Halloween for the umptybillionth time. Somehow it never gets old.

Survivor: Missouri

2007-10-23T10:18:00.000-05:00

Well, I survived. God granted us mercy, thank you a million times over for the prayers. I rate the weekend at one out of five gray hairs. That means that aside from some hilarious hormones on parade, it was pretty much event free. According to my daughter the drama was at an all time low. Not only that, but the MS youth group edged ever so slightly closer to the Kingdom of Heaven. I just need to say this, is there anything more entertaining in the world than a bunch of high schoolers trying to be an example to a bunch of middle schoolers. No, I don't think so.

On a somewhat related note, we had a visitor to our house last night. A young guy who is a junior at my older boys high school came by our house in a state of distress at about 10:00 p.m. He was so upset that I jumped to my usual dire conclusion and imagined someone had been ax murdered. Hey, it's not completely outside the realm of possibility. There was that thing a couple years ago.....different family though. So anyway, it was just a family fight that got out of hand and his step father had locked him out of the house. He just needed a place to catch his breath and give his step father time to cool off. After awhile he left to walk it off. It was all a little unsettling. It kind of reminded me of a time or two, (or two hundred) at my own home growing up. My kids were a little taken aback, though, because I don't think they'd ever considered the possibility that a parent would go to such extremes. I hope that means we're doing something right. I saw that he was back in his house by 11:00 by the time signature on his facebook so that's good, but I'd like to make sure that everything is ok. If anyone knows how I might do that without looking like a complete busybody please, by all means, share it with me.

In Case I Don't Make it Back

2007-10-19T15:00:00.000-05:00

Pray for me. I'm off to spend the weekend with, youth, energy and our best hope for a bright future. Middle School Retreat time. Seriously people, pray for me.

Step Away From the Camera

2007-10-19T10:03:00.000-05:00

The problem with being the family photographer, aside from never getting your picture taken, is that you are always so busy "capturing the moment" that you rarely get to experience the moment. The pressure is something awful. What if, at the end of the day, you didn't capture the perfect photograph that brings the entire day together in one comprehensive image. You've lost it for all eternity. Then what will you look at in your waning years? It's almost tragic.

But what if, at the photo op, you get out the camera and horror of horrors, the battery is dead, or worse yet, you forgot your camera entirely.

I've experienced both these scenarios in the past two weeks. Honestly, at the time I didn't know if I'd make it. The panic attack that threatened almost overwhelmed me. Then the strangest thing happened. I started to enjoy myself. I stood less than five feet away from my family and interacted with them. Like the proverbial bike I realized that I hadn't forgotten how to have fun. I won't say I don't have regrets because the little shutterbug sitting on my shoulder won't let it go. I'm just saying sometimes it's ok to let it go. To build real memories instead of poorly framed, overexposed, out of focus memories.

There is no place like.......

2007-10-18T07:55:00.000-05:00

I sort of have this feeling today that the return of Tom Osborne to Nebraska football is being hailed as the second coming in my hometown. I'm sure my dad would be happy to confirm this if I were to call him. Stupid football. I love it.

Fifty Percent Chance of Smiting

2007-10-16T08:31:00.000-05:00

I've played sidekicks to a host of characters portrayed by my four year old: Luigi to his Mario, Tails to his Sonic, Black Spiderman to his Spiderman, and on and on. Today is a new one on me. Today we are playing God and Jesus. Is that even legal?

Legalities aside, the four year old is playing Jesus and I have been assigned the role of God. Our job is making people. I have been given the additional job of making bugs. You may be wondering to yourself why the four year old would give lead role, God, to me. Here's the thing, I don't think he did. In his mind I think Jesus is the lead. It makes sense if you think about it from the perspective of a four year old. Or, for a forty four year old for that matter. The bulk of bible class time is about Jesus. Jesus was "real", accessible. God is..... out there. It's something I'd thought about before but this sort of brings it into focus. How do I make God more real. To the four year old, to myself. Maybe the answer comes through Jesus. I guess I've got my work cut out for me.

Here are a couple of side notes of interest that I learned today. Apparently the business of making people is a messy one that requires the use of safety goggles. Also, did you know that there are no tootsie rolls in heaven?

One of our "creations"

*Edit* Ok, I know the Trinity should get equal billing. Notice that the Holy Spirit was left on the cutting room floor of my little scenario. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. That's one of those things I haven't figured out yet.

Stepping out of the nest.

2007-10-15T10:09:00.000-05:00

My oldest is off with his father today to visit a university. I am suddenly struck with the realization that this is our last October with him. We already spent our last September with him. Honestly, most days are just like any other but sometimes I look at him through different eyes and marvel at how time has passed. I make it entirely clear to him that we would fully support and even encourage him to stay at home and go to junior college for a year or more till he is completely sure of his direction in life. Generally this makes for great motivation to get him to write his college essays or do some other college related preparations.

What will he be when he grows up? I haven't a clue. The kid is a blank slate. I think that is why he needs to get out of the house. There is only so much you can learn about yourself under your parent's roof and I think he needs to get out there and "find himself". I refuse to be sad about this. Sometimes I wonder why. Is something wrong with me? Maybe it's because our house is so crowded. More likely it is because I remember the excitement and thrill I had when leaving home. I did it completely wrong. I was way too young, instead of easing my way out I bolted and I was nowhere near ready. But I did it and I figured it out. Mostly. I'm still figuring some things out. It works, though, it's the way God made us. Eventually we all want to leave our parents. So when the time comes I am prepared to shed tears but I will do so in the spirit of celebration.

Grandma

2007-10-11T11:40:00.000-05:00

My Grandma died three weeks ago on September 21st 2007 at age ninety six. It still hasn't sunk in, even though we all knew it was coming. I guess I just took it for granted that she would always be around. She intended to be around, I think. Last I heard she was planning to match her sister's one hundred years. In the end I believe she just kind of tired of living and let go. She died around 12:15 A.M. and I can't get it out of my head that she waited till after midnight on purpose. September 20 is my birthday. Grandma was like that, she never wanted to be inconvenient in any way.

Some of my favorite memories:

I think my poor Grandma used to hold herself responsible for the success or failure of the many sporting teams she supported, but none more than the Huskers during football season. I'll never forget the time I called home during a game and my dad informed me that Grandma was hiding behind the fridge because the Huskers were losing. That still cracks me up.

When I was little my hair was very long and very fine but I had a LOT of it and it was always in tangles. I would throw a fit when my mom tried to brush it because it hurt so bad. My Grandma had the touch. On our visits to her house I looked forward to her sitting beside me and gently working through my hair till it was untangled and she could brush through it pain free. It was magical.

My Grandma had one sister and one brother. I never met her brother. When talking about her sister Grandma would often insinuate that her sister was the "good" girl and she was the "bad" girl. One afternoon my dad and I took Grandma on a drive through the small towns in eastern Nebraska where she grew up. She pointed out many landmarks to us including the spot where she and Grandad used to spend time "sparking" when they were dating. TMI Grandma.

After 9/11 I called my Grandma to get perspective on things. Among the things we discussed were Pearl Harbor, World War Two in general and the assassination of JFK. Perspective is a wonderful and healing thing. I am so thankful to have had access to it.

There are a lot of things I hope I will inherit from my Grandma eventually. Her selflessness. Her attitudes of tolerance and acceptance. Her love of family. Her love of reading; I still have stacks of books that she gave me. Her patronage of the Arts.

As I said before it hasn't really sunk in yet that she is gone but grief has a way of sneaking up on me. A week ago at church I was sitting there with a rotten attitude and not wanting to sing. Someone sat down behind me with a beautiful singing voice and my attitude did a one-eighty. Slowly, my thoughts drifted to my Grandma. I never heard her sing but everyone said what a beautiful Alto voice she had and out of nowhere I was fighting back tears. I was well on my way to some serious sobbing so I left and got control of myself. I think little things like that will creep up on me till we have time to grieve her as a family at her memorial service.

Above all, I am thankful for the time I got to spend with her and for the fact that she was able to meet all my children.

Rest in peace Grandma.

Birthday Angst

2007-10-09T12:48:00.000-05:00

I've got a couple of posts in me that I need to get out. One is for our sixteen year old son, formerly known as the Fifteen year old. That's what you get today.

You know how your parents said to you, when you had worn out their last nerve, "Just wait till you have children of your own."? For me the Sixteen year old is that child. I see in him what I used to be and every day I fight the urge to call my parents and apologize. He is not a bad kid. It's just, well, for one thing, nothing is ever his fault. EVER. Not only that, but, the world is conspiring to make life even more difficult for him. And, by world I mean, mainly, his sister. For me it was my brothers. Oh yes, I remember. There is a word for it. Teenage angst. I cannot change his perception of the world, that is his battle. I can understand where he is coming from, though, and that's where I think he has an advantage over me at his age.

Now I will tell a story that would embarrass the snot out of him. How's that for understanding. As a baby he was the most affectionate of all my children. When he was nursing or just sitting in my arms, he used to take my hair in his chubby little hand and hold it like a security blanky. These days he tends to hold things in and let the tension get to him, but, he is still my most affectionate child in his own way. I can always tell when the tension has broken because he will sneak up behind me and start "fixing" my hair. It's my little sign that things will be OK with him. Things may be difficult, of his own making or maybe the world really is out to get him. He has a foundation of faith, though, that I trust he can always return to no matter where life takes him.

With that and with a massive dose of prayer for his survival on the streets (drivers licence) I wish him a blessed seventeenth year of life.

Things are looking up.

2007-10-06T22:30:00.001-05:00

So, today was much better. Mainly due to the fact that a headache kept me in bed and out of trouble for a sizable chunk of the day. I got to feeling better, though, thanks to copious amounts of Excedrin and by afternoon I was feeling well enough to go on an actual date with my actual husband. We saw 3:10 to Yuma. Here's my review. It was totally awesome, go see it. Be careful leaving the theater though. You may have the feeling that there are bad guys with guns behind every car in the parking lot.

And oh yeah, Go KU!

The Terriblehorriblenogoodverybad Day

2007-10-05T21:36:00.000-05:00

I couldn't make any sense, I made an idiot of myself, I said all the wrong things, and to top it all off I think I just brushed my teeth with an ant.

Is it tomorrow yet?

Things to remember not to do.

2007-10-05T16:19:00.000-05:00

#1. Quit saying naughty words (out loud) in front of the four year old. This is going to get me in some serious trouble, and soon.

Mars and Venus

2007-09-25T13:45:00.000-05:00

My daughter's birthday has got me thinking about how good it has been good for my sanity to have a girl in the family. I remember one Thanksgiving I was giving my husband the silent treatment as we drove to the in-laws. I don't remember why I was mad, some imagined slight I'm sure, but I was shooting my silent arrows from the passenger seat to the drivers seat. My husband, blissfully unaware of his transgressions drove on. Then, from the back seat I heard a little voice, "Mom, are you mad about something". Either my aim was really off or my daughter inherited the mind reading gene. From the back seat she picked up on the anger that had bounced right off my husband. It was quite a lesson, and I'd like to say I learned it but that would be a lie. I still attempt the silent treatment from time to time, seeing how it is so effective and all, I just try to do it when the kids are not around. OK, that's a lie too. I am a horrible example to my daughter, the most I can manage is a feeble "do as I say not as I do". And what I say is, "men can NOT read your mind". I add that to my mothers advice, "you can NOT change a man", and hopefully one of these generations we will get it right. Actually I did take my mom's advice because there is nothing about my husband that I wish to change, unless you count the fact that I wish he could read my mind. In the mean time, it's nice to have my daughter and fellow mind reader here with me.

Happy (and now belated) Birthday

2007-09-25T11:34:00.000-05:00

(I actually started this on the 23rd of September)

Fourteen years ago today, three days after my thirtieth birthday, we welcomed a new baby into our family. After two boys, out popped a dark haired baby girl.

She is fourteen years old today. Somehow that round little baby has transformed into a beautiful, sweet hearted, athletic, young lady. She is so beautiful. In one post I mentioned that my mom looked like Snow White. My daughter resembles Pocahontas, with blue eyes. I am bracketed by Disney princesses.

I would say that I am so proud of who she is becoming except that I feel like so much of my child raising has been out of my control. I just try not to get in the way, with varying degrees of success.

People warned me about age thirteen and, indeed, I remembered myself at age thirteen. I spent the better half of last year in fear, waiting for the monster to emerge. Apparently she is a different animal though, and I am blessed. So, my birthday wish for her is one of continued innocence. I pray that she could hold the cynicism of life at bay. I know it cannot be forever but let it be as long as possible. Her older brother jokes about training her to toughen her up because she screams at spiders and such. What boys and brothers don't realize is that girls and sisters become tough in ways that they can not even imagine. It is needed, I suppose, but hopefully not before it's time.

Happy birthday my little girl. Thank you for fourteen fantastic fun-filled years.

"Nothing will come of nothing: speak again"

2007-09-18T12:57:00.000-05:00

I've been deep in thought the last few days. Deep. But I'm done I think. Done thinking, that is, and with not much to show for it, so instead, here is an accounting of my weekend.

Last weekend the whole family, the WHOLE family, spent the weekend in Nebraska. We accomplished three things, well more than that but three major things.

First we took a trip to the campus of UNL to catch some of the pre-USC game festivities. Mainly we wanted to catch the marching band rehearsal and let the kids hang out at the stadium. I wanted some of what I had as a kid to rub off on them because, while I never attended the University of Nebraska, I spent many a happy time at the football stadium. It really is an awesome atmosphere. Ironically the only one I've managed to get to an actual game is my daughter (and the four year old in utero) And now, just to mess with the video button which I haven't done yet, here is a video of the marching huskers!

Originally the main purpose for this trip was to see my Dad performing in King Lear with the Flatwater Shakespeare Company. I had a hard time enjoying the play because my crazy dad who, I swear is as mad as King Lear, spent the last three months or so complaining about how he'd never be able to remember all those lines and how his body is in such bad shape he might just fall apart on stage. He did fine. Eventually I was able to relax and enjoy the show. Well, enjoy it as much as you can enjoy a show in which everybody dies in the end. Look, here is a picture of "the King". As you can see, he left the building. Ha Ha.

The third reason we all came to town and what became the main reason is that my Grandma is not doing at all well. My kids are so blessed to have known her while she was still herself. She still is, of course, but she is a little difficult to find these days. She is pretty unresponsive due to age and medication. My little brother and I spent a good long time just holding her hand and looking into her eyes. Talking a little bit, but not much, really. Every once in awhile a little bit of Grandma would bubble up to the surface and make an appearance. I was thankful for that because I had a very strong feeling that I was saying good-bye to her. I was very happy that my three older kids, all independently, expressed a desire to go visit her. I am proud of them because it was not expected to be a happy visit. It wasn't happy but it was very touching as they all kissed and hugged her goodbye at the end. Now, so I don't leave you with such sad thoughts and to continue with the visuals, I leave you with this photo of my Grandma and my little brother in earlier days. Enjoy.

An update.

2007-09-13T12:12:00.001-05:00

I asked for prayers for Maxine Bullard last week and they have been answered. Unfortunately the answer was no to the ovarian cancer study because apparently her cancer is at to advanced a stage. What is fascinating to me is the bright and witty emails she sends out with what seems like such dire news. I am taking her advice and praying for a small miracle every day till she is healed. It is fascinating to me to see how she does not face this alone. Not alone in the physical realm and not alone in the spiritual realm. It is easy to see the many people who go phisically along side her through this illness but just as visible to me are those who go alongside her in spirit. It is so obvious through her words and actions. That is how I, as an outside observer mostly via the internet, see it. I pray that I would live my life that way.

Fun Times

2007-09-10T21:51:00.000-05:00

One of my and my husband's favorite pastimes is discussing with our kids, in detail and with anatomically correct language, what some of the songs our kids listen to actually mean. And when I say listen I mean, hear accidentally because my kids would never listen to that stuff. *cough, cough* Trust me when I say that they have just as fun as we do during these little dialogues. Oh yeah. Our latest adventure in music is titled Cr@nk D@t S0ulj@ B0y. (characters, so I don't get googled)

You know, it's not the ones I understand about that worry me, It's the ones I don't.

Long Live Bob

2007-09-09T16:49:00.000-05:00

I just ate a tomato the size of my head. I had to, you see. It was starting to get soft. The tomato, not my head.

Later on tonight we will make about eight jars of salsa.

Just call me couch tomato.

Habit forming

2007-09-06T08:02:00.000-05:00

I read a blog called The Secret Life of Kat. I lurk there quite often. It's awesome, go check it out! She has issued a challenge to her readers to develop a new habit on the assumption that it takes 21 days for a routine to take root and genuinely become a habit. I haven't "officially" joined the challenge because I can't handle that much accountability, but I am striking out on my own. I figure here I'm only accountable to a handful of people. I won't spill the details yet but depending on how well I do with it I'll elaborate later. Small steps. It's a simple thing that I am trying to do and something most people probably do without thinking, just not me. Not with a capital N.

Now go check out that blog.

May I be so bold as to ask,

2007-09-05T11:55:00.000-05:00

would you pray for someone for me? Her name is Maxine Bullard. She is a remarkable woman in many ways but the one of the ways that has stuck with me is her ability to make 1st and 2nd Kings not only interesting but fascinating to third thru sixth grade children. I mean superhero fascinating. I don't mention this to imply that she is more worthy of prayer than anyone else, I just thought you should know, that's all.

Specifics:
She is trying to get accepted into a program in Chicago that treats advanced Ovarian Cancer.
She is a widowed parent to two grown children and one in his first year in college. (Her husband passed away one year ago after a sudden, severe heart attack.)

I thank you.

Like I need more grey hair.

2007-09-04T18:34:00.000-05:00

We are on the cusp of initiating another driver into the family. The fifteen year old turns sixteen at the end of this month. He is doing as well as can be expected. This afternoon he got it into his head that he wanted to drive the stick shift home when I picked him up from xc practice. I haven't had the pleasure yet of driving that particular car with him so I decided to live dangerously and handed over the steering wheel. I think his main concern was coolness points for driving off in front of his friends still awaiting rides. He managed to get away without killing the car. Then he killed it a couple of times at an intersection with a car behind him. ***ADVICE TANGENT*** Mothers, before letting your teen get behind the wheel for the first time, it might behoove you to review all that Lamaze breathing you learned during pregnancy. ***TANGENT OVER*** He actually did a great job and we made it two thirds of the way home at which point he let me take the wheel back when faced with a traffic backup. On a hill. In heavy construction. It's good to know your limits.

Secular Sins

2007-09-03T11:44:00.000-05:00

Christians are judgemental, no? That has got to be one of the top ten complaints about Christians. It doesn't help that we, as Christians, are so eager to prove it true. Quibble all you want to about the meaning of Matthew 7:1-2 but you know you do it. I do it, you do it, all God's children do it. I'm doing it right now. But, let's not be too hasty. Christians don't have the only corner on that market. Tune in to a morning news show some time, or maybe Oprah and see if you don't come away feeling as guilty as sin. There are any number of speakers, authors or "experts" only too happy to tell us how to live our lives and woe be it to the individual trying to keep up with these ever changing commandments.

In the spirit of fair play I thought I'd spend some time in confession. I want to confess my sins of commission or omission in the secular realm. I was thinking of beginning this "forgive me AlGore for I have sinned", but that would be going to far, don't you think?

My sins:

1. Recycling. Look, I recycle, I really do. I am a child of the seventies after all. I even remember the original little ecology symbol. It's just, sometimes, when I am overwhelmed by cramming six people's worth of junk into a house meant for four, I might, in a fit of cleaning frenzy, might, actually, throw away a newspaper....or a soda can.

1a. I, overuse, commas.

2. Sunscreen. For one thing, I have been known to use less than 50 spf. For another thing, I don't reapply after one hour. And lastly, if we are going out after 3:00 I don't bother. And for the kids, I would just hit the high spots: shoulders, face, back, chest and arms. Oh, and the tops of their ears, that can be nasty. Try rubbing three children down completely with sunscreen and see if you even make it out of the house before midnight. On the beach, however, we mind our sunscreen p's and q's. Going to the beach is treated like a visit to the sunscreen pope or something. We learned that lesson the hard way. If we are anywhere near the beach everyone takes a bath in sunscreen every hour on the hour. King Sol shows no mercy.

3. Trans fats. Once or twice, Ok, probably dozens of times, I allowed my children to take Lunchables to school for field trip lunches. I have also given in to the hue and cry for Oreos.

4. Christmas. I wish random people a Merry Christmas*. Actually I don't think this is nearly as big a deal as the media makes it out to be. Maybe for a vocal minority. Though maybe, being in the majority, I don't get it. That's always a possibility. No one has wished me a Happy Hanukkah or Kwanzaa yet but if they did, would I be offended? No.

5. Edumacation. I believe five minutes worth of Entertainment Tonight viewing bears this one out. I believe, contrary to what our teachers told us, there ARE stupid questions.

Ok, enough of that. While written with tongue firmly in cheek, some of these I really would like to improve on. Not the Christmas one though. I'm kind of unrepentant on that one. I know if I were to do a little more soul searching that these five would just be the tip of the iceberg. This is all I can manage to do penance for at the moment. Meanwhile, let's all cut each other some slack.

* During the Christmas season.

The best things in life

2007-08-31T14:59:00.000-05:00

Yesterday while my husband and I were sitting with the rest of the soccer parents during daughters practice, our four year old made a new friend. Forsaking the sparkly new playground the two of them beelined for the best plaything life has to offer. A giant pile of dirt. As we watched the two of them we reminisced about dirt piles from our past. Doesn't everyone have a dirt pile in their past?